I’ve recently had my second child and haven’t lost all my baby weight. How can I make my husband see me as attractive when I don’t see myself that way?
Dear Posh Mama,
Sweet Posh reader, I’d bet a date with Chris Hemsworth that your husband already finds you attractive! It’s hard not to push our view of ourselves onto our loved ones, but we do it more than we’d like to admit. This isn’t about making your husband see you as attractive but making YOU see you as attractive. A good way to start is admitting how amazing your body is for creating a human and bringing it to life! I’m not going to tell you that the extra weight or stretch marks are a badge of motherhood, because I personally find that dismissive, but I am going to challenge you to celebrate the strength of your body and the miracle of life. For real. Then think of ways to feel sexy when your body isn’t quite the wing-woman you’re used to. Having sex doesn’t mean you have to be completely naked. Lovers have been dressing for the occasion for hundreds of years. Are you feeling a little less than confident with your tummy? Your favorite tank top or camisole and a quick slick of lip gloss can make your inner bad-girl come to life! Not feelin’ it with your legs? Try a little mood lighting with candles. It allows you to see your hot hubby and vice versa under the forgiving glow of a flickering flame. Try it! Because I know your man is ready to join in the fun and leave you feeling loved and cherished and sexier than ever!
My husband and I are in a rut. We are so focused on our kids that we don’t spend time on each other. How can we reignite our relationship?
Dear Posh Spark,
Married with children has the connotation it does for a reason! Think Al Bundy (if you’re not too young to know who I’m talking about. LOL!) It’s so easy to fall into a rut, to put ourselves and our relationship last, because in the end our partnership and our shared values for our life and family created the mess we’re in. Right? I’m here to say…wrong! It is more important than ever to nurture the relationship and the love that started it all. Research shows that children who see their parents spend time together feel more secure. They see you going out, loving each other, and coming home to be a family. You must keep growing your romantic relationship so when the children you love and adore leave the nest, you still know and like who you’re married to! So, make it—MAKE IT—a priority. Schedule the time, make it a habit, and before you know it you won’t want to miss it. Every night, as soon as the kids are in bed, you can rendezvous for a conversation, for a snuggle, or even a bitch session, then get back to the rest of life. It doesn’t have to be hours, carve out thirty minutes! Have date night or date coffee or date at home movie where the two of you can work on being a two-some. It feels good to be loved, desired, and cherished. It’s that feeling that keeps husbands and wives choosing each other every day. So take the challenge. Choose each other. Every day. Every night. Your love is worth it!
My husband travels a lot! He has mentioned to me numerous times that he would love me to send him sexy (naked) pictures of myself when he is away to show I am thinking of him. I am in my 40’s and really don’t feel comfortable with this request. What should I do?
Dear Posh Sexy Selfie,
Your husband loves you, finds you sexy as hell (regardless of what you think), and wants to know he is on your mind when you are apart—and probably wants some material to play with until you are sleeping under the same roof again! So, I am all for a sexy selfie IF you are feeling adventurous. However, I am a cautious romantic, so where I applaud the idea of you playing with a few angles to get the perfect pic of your playful parts (laying down can do wonders! LOL!), I’m also very consequence adverse and big on anonymity. So maybe leave your beautiful face out and save it for the perfect traditional selfie. Now, if sending a pic isn’t an option in this lifetime, then here’s another option. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I say words are worth a mint! Why not try a sexy text or email or phone call or note left in his luggage? Not sure what to say? Check out your favorite romance novels for ideas! But, as much as I love a great romance, it doesn’t take a novel. You can heat up your honey and let him know, without a shadow of a doubt that he is on your mind with a sentence or two. You would be surprised how intriguing he’ll find it when, out of the blue, you let him know you aren’t wearing any panties. Or, perhaps you have a brand-new bra but can’t seem to figure out how to get it off and you’re sure he is the man to help you out! Letting him see and feel that you can’t wait for him to get home will do wonders for the connection between the two of you! Then maybe in time, you’ll drum up the nerve to take that sexy pic…and who knows someday, you might even like it!
MK MEREDITH is a bestselling romance author and two-time breast cancer survivor who fiercely believes in happy endings. Visit her at MKMeredith.com.
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